Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
