New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
