I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
