I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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