my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
