You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
