question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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