hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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