You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
