Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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