i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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