You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
