Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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