Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize