Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
