Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
