I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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