i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
