Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
