If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
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I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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