Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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