Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
