They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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