chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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