You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think i have two assholes
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
