My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
