Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she looked like the before picture.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
