Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
