i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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