ya dads aren't the best wingmen
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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