I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
