even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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