Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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