Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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