You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
