Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
