Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
