can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
