I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Porn is love you can see.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
