You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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