wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you will always have a special place in my vag
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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