break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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