the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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