ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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