i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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