Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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