we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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