I skipped work to stalk him.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
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Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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