The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
