Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You are the jesus of drinking
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
