I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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