But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
