I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize