the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
