Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
