I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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