Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
