Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
